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| Sand of Time by Gadion |
When I was at uni, I spent days procrastinating doing virtually nothing in my sweats with no makeup on. Attractive huh? I used to feel plagued with boredom, restricted by my student finances and London prices making everything twice as expensive. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the time I had with my friends, but I longed for more options, more things to fill my time and money to do those things with. Now that I'm back home and I've been working for 2 and half years, I'd chew someone's arm off for a free day with nothing to do, no pressure and no need to cake my face in cosmetics in a last-ditch attempt to look awake and vaguely presentable...
Now I'm living a different reality, one where the things I love the most take a back seat whilst the everyday repeats and repeats in its crushing monotony, superseding everything that makes life remotely fun. Looking back, I feel like I wasted all that free time I had as a student. I spent too much time being selfish and feeling hard-done-by, and not enough time embracing life and chasing opportunities. But then hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it?
Ok, so I'm definitely overthinking things slightly, but there's a definite message that I want to convey here. I might not feel like I have time to indulge my passions these days, but is that really an excuse not to? When I do make the effort and find time to do the things I want, the sense of fulfilment I get is nourishing. When I take a great photo, bake something that tastes of pure heaven, or write a well-received blog entry, I feel like I get back the pieces of my soul that sprung loose on the 9 to 5 carousel.
It's so easy to just sit there after a hard day and do absolutely nothing. Finding the drive to do something new and exciting amongst all the pressures and stresses of life is really hard. I admire those who can and do do this on a regular basis. I want to be more like those people who embrace a life less ordinary by finding the time to run a sports club, paint a masterpiece, or write the next best-seller...
So, I'm going to stop apologising every time I blog for the 'long hiatus' and instead get off my bum and write about the things I've done. After all, Chantilly Press is nothing if I don't make time for it!
Beautifully written Han and definitely reflective and thought provoking. Sometimes though, after a hard days work doing absolutely nothing could be the tonic you need. Particularly if you are with someone you love.
ReplyDeleteEqually doing different and challenging can be just as good. As they say 'a change is as good as rest. I believe that to be true. Working with you renovating different parts of yours and Tom's house - particularly the bathroom has been just the challenging distraction I need from my normal working life. I get the same sense of fulfilment you mention in your blog. Plus the fact I love helping you!
Perhaps you should write a novel.
Love you